My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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