I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
