Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
