i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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