i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
