Don't make out with my wife yet
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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