he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
