clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
