Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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