There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
