i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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