Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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