Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
