If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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