I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
