go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize