You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
