Christians are straight up FREAKS
Welp...herpes.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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