I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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