I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So squirting runs in the family.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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