how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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