Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
