"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize