u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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