Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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