Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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