i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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