He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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