We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
