At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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