why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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