I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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