fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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