We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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