I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
