I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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