my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
