U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
