at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently you make a good broom.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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