We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize