Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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