I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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