Moan for me like Helen Keller
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
