did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
