My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
