I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
