i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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