i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
