my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
