i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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