Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
