everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
