I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
