If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
