there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
