Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
