drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
