WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
