Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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