OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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