Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
