She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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