Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
