Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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