I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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