woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
