Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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