im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
